It’s a typical Tuesday night in 2004 and I’m at Blockbuster in Manhattan, Kansas with my friend to see our other friend who works there. By see, I mean we’ve gone to get our free rentals and hang out for thirty minutes while avoiding any studying we should definitely be doing.
We wander the aisle acting like we haven’t see everything in the store already and then casually stand at the counter watching other customers come and go as we talk about the latest boyfriend drama and what we’re wearing to that party this weekend.
I didn’t know it then but a beginning was just behind that counter in a blue polo and a name tag that said, “Ryan.”
It’s a Saturday afternoon in 2023 and I’m searching “moving tips” on Pinterest, but I don’t really need moving tips. I’ve already seen all the timeline checklists and the posts about the best way to pack dishes.
What Pinterest is not telling me is
“how to say goodbye to my best friends”
“why can’t I give away that vase I only use once a year”
“how to begin again”
My Papa Paul texts me about our plans “to move closer to your beginnings.” In 1879 his grandfather moved from Sweden to a small town in central Kansas where my family on my mother’s side put down roots (and also literally lived with the roots as they lived in a dugout for awhile). My grandpa was in the Air Force and then had other occupations that took him and his family to many states, but in the late 90’s my grandparent’s moved back to our little Kansas town.
My dad’s side has a similar story, as does Ryan’s family (just in a different small, Kansas town). And I just keep thinking about all the beginnings that had to happen before this one could.
The Blockbuster is gone now, replaced by Netflix and a liquor store, but the boy with the polo and name tag is still here. We’ve got quite the collection of beginnings together: two babies - job changes - moves from Kansas to Colorado to Florida. And now, in June we’ll move into a house a couple miles away from that Blockbuster beginning, just a few hours away from both of our families beginnings.
And I just keep thinking about all the beginnings that are really returnings.
Some words I wrote:
This poem was written for Issue 1 of Part-Time Poets (Issue 2 is out today!)
This poem was inspired by the Florida legislature
Some words I read:
- and is a collection of motherhood devotionals that will meet you right where you are. Whether you're a brand-new mom or already a few years in, you'll find Kim and Erin's words both relatable and encouraging. Two of my favorites: Growing Up at the Park and Tell Your Story.
If you’re looking for a fun murder mystery to take your mind off the current state of the world, go pick up Daisy Darker by Alice Feeney.
Some things I did:
April was a pretty busy month that included a Good Friday nature walk with my boys, an Easter egg dive in a ball pit, Ryan’s 4oth birthday, the boys’ first time at a roller skating rink (I failed to get a decent picture, but did get lots of video of them zooming around like putting wheels on your feet is no big deal while my knees where screaming just watching) and the highlight - seeing Taylor Swift with my bestie.
Some things I bought:
This jumpsuit that I wore to the Taylor concert.
This swimsuit that I’ll probably be getting in every color.
And some Kensie wide leg jeans at T.J. Maxx that I can’t find a link for, but if you’re looking for permission to get wide leg jeans, please go. Now.
Until next time…
Peace and love, Michelle
Need you to know that I'm also wearing a jumpsuit to Taylor and bought wide leg jeans last week. You already know how I feel about the move 😘😘
Michelle!! Are you moving to Manhattan??? When we do our next KC Exhale get-together we’ll get to meet :) And thanks for sharing about our book!